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Sin sot 2020

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  • Sin sot 2020

    Sin sod (aka dowry or bride price) can become an issue for foreigners when their relationship with a Thai lady gets serious. The idea of paying a sum of money for the privilege of marrying someone is not part of Western culture and things can come to a head. Once a hot subject amongst those set to marry their Thai darling, these days you don’t hear so much about sin sod.

    Thailand and its traditions are changing. Some young Thais are marrying without any sin sod being paid. Sin sod is not the big deal it once was.

    Some say the sin sod is to compensate the family for the cost of raising their (good) daughter. Others say it compensates the family for the loss of labour – which goes back to the days when a Thai woman would move in with the groom and his family and work for them meaning her own family lost a set of hands. Others claim it is a safety net for the lady that should anything happen to the marriage (or to her husband), she would have money to look after herself for a period.

    Thailand has changed. The days when most jobs were in agriculture are long gone and the idea of a family losing labour just isn’t relevant today. Divorced Thai women aren’t shunned the way they once were and Thai women don’t need a financial safety net because they have plenty of opportunity to get a good job and earn good money today. It isn’t so easy to justify sin sod these days.

    Of course, a big part of sin sod is face. The more sin sod a man can pay, the more face he gains. Likewise the family of the lady gains much face for their daughter who has attracted such a wealthy suitor.

    From time to time you hear of outrageous amounts of sin sod being paid, made up of a combination of a large sum of cash (which can run many millions of baht), a quantity of gold and other expensive jewellery, and sometimes even luxury items like a European car.

    In some cases this sin sod is for keeps and the bride and / or her family keep it. In other cases it is simply for display so face is gained, with an express agreement that most or all will be returned to the groom after the wedding ceremony.

    In some cases, the money used for the sin sod is borrowed from family members. In other cases, a sin sodso large that it will impress even the wealthiest Thais is hired.

    Today, the hiring of items for show as part of the sin sod is big business. www.sinsord.com is a website where cash, gold, luxury cars etc. can be hired to show at the wedding ceremony. www.sinsordforrent.comis another such website.

    The table below shows the amount of cash that can be hired in the column on the left, and the price to hire that cash in the column on the right. A modest sin sod of 50,000 baht can be hired for 3,500 baht. Hiring10 million baht costs 200,000 baht.





    For less than 20,000 baht you can hire a Mercedes Benz to show as part of the sin sod. Of course, when neither of the happy couple are ever seen driving the car it is a tell-tale sign that it was all for show – but that doesn’t bother anyone. It’s all about face on the big day.

    This sort of ostentatious display of wealth appeals to some, but increasingly the younger generation are less interested in partaking in this game.

    It’s not uncommon these days for young Thai couples to marry with no sin sod at all.

    Let’s take the example of my other half’s younger brother. The families met and a sin sod was requested by her family. His family told hers that a sin sod would not be paid, explaining that they see it is outdated and not appropriate in modern day Thailand. They got married and so far, so good. Today this Bangkok born and bred couple lead what could be described as modern lifestyles – each has a full-time job and they each share duties at home.

    They’re not alone. Many young, urban Thais feel the same way about sin sod.

    I hear many stories of young Thais marrying with no sin sod paid, or the sin sod that is paid is all for show, and returned in its entirety when all the guests have gone home.

    Thailand has changed massively over the past 20 years. Today, many Thai women have a higher income and more money saved than the man they are about to marry.

    The other half frequently reminds me that amongst her married friends (Bangkok Thais with an average age around 40) that more often than not she earns more than he does.

    In some cases the bride might put up the sin sod herself because the groom simply doesn’t have the money and neither does his family. The money is put on display as if it came from the groom.

    In Thai culture one should not outright refuse to pay a sin sod, but it is acceptable to discuss why you think it is not appropriate. Modern, urban Thais understand the argument. In rural and more traditional areas, the reaction might not be so positive.

    Many modern Thais live together, buy a house together and share a car or two without ever getting legally married. No sin sod is paid. Many of the new generation – and I use that term liberally, to include those aged up to around 40 – see sin sod as old-fashioned.

    Curiously, some foreigners – particularly some long-term expats – have what I consider odd and even misplaced ideas about sin sod. Some insist that sin sod is a Thai tradition that all foreigners must pay when marrying a Thai women. In their mind, failure to pay a sin sod is showing extreme disrespect to Thai culture. It’s sanctimonious nonsense. They’re living in the past and just because they may have paid does not mean others must. Increasingly, modern, urban Thais are choosing not to pay sin sod – so why should foreigners?

    Of course, there are plenty of Thai women whose family will not allow her to be married – or will not give their blessing – if the gentleman won’t pay a sin sod.

    If you’re planning to marry your Thai darling and wish to pay a sin sod, go for it! But it should be your choice. If you choose not to, explain why. Not all modern, urban Thais will agree, but they will understand.

    The attitudes of modern, urban Thais are changing and the rest of the country will follow. Will sin sod go the way of other outdated traditions that no longer exist? Within a generation or so could sin sod be a thing of the past?

    https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/week...sod-revisited/

  • #2
    Originally posted by Arthur Daley View Post
    Of course, a big part of sin sod is face. The more sin sod a man can pay, the more face he gains. Likewise the family of the lady gains much face for their daughter who has attracted such a wealthy suitor.
    The most interesting part about this write up, and shows how outdated this ritual is. Genuine flaunting of financial wealth is very 20th century or before. These days, your average Jerk in a Merc (Benz) is more of a joke than being worthy of respect.



    Rent-a-sin-sot. How to deceive your nearest and dearest

    Comment


    • #3
      Curiously, some foreigners – particularly some long-term expats – have what I consider odd and even misplaced ideas about sin sod. Some insist that sin sod is a Thai tradition that all foreigners must pay when marrying a Thai women. In their mind, failure to pay a sin sod is showing extreme disrespect to Thai culture. It’s sanctimonious nonsense. They’re living in the past and just because they may have paid does not mean others must. Increasingly, modern, urban Thais are choosing not to pay sin sod – so why should foreigners?
      the sort of farangs that get suckered into paying sin sot are the same idiots that even after 5 years living in thailand are still wai-ing the bar staff ushering them into their drinking holes.

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      • #4
        What about a westerner that gloats about only paying 100k sinsot. Does this make him an idiot for paying anything, a low class chav, or a thrifty cheapskate, or all three, and his Mrs from the bargain bucket of leftovers?

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        • #5
          not sure who you are referring to, but bargain bucket of leftovers and idiot does ring some bells.

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          • #6
            "Dear friends and family gathered here today,

            Behold my baht equivalent of 3,000 US$, beautifully spread out on a gauche plate on this gaudy table. That's how much smug me managed to haggle down my bride price to, which is ideal as it's all she's worth and as much as I could get my clammy mitts on.

            Now hurry up and get this over so I can return it to the pawn shop and get my chickenhead pickup truck back!"

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            • #7
              You're obessed smeg. See a doctor.

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              • #8
                You're white-knighting KW. Someone's bent over, waiting to repay you.

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                • #9
                  for who?

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by TAXEXILE View Post

                    the sort of farangs that get suckered into paying sin sot are the same idiots that even after 5 years living in thailand are still wai-ing the bar staff ushering them into their drinking holes.
                    I did neither.
                    There are different, though. Sin Sod is still part of Thai culture, whether for show or real, wai-ing bar staff is an embarassing faux-pas.

                    Dont get sick of me just yet, for I will be here for quite a while

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by serrollt View Post
                      wai-ing bar staff is an embarassing faux-pas.
                      Receiving their wai with a quick nod of the head is fine.

                      Comment

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