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Thread: Cross-Forum Revealing Gossip Time

  1. #221
    Quote Originally Posted by serrollt View Post
    Priceless!
    indeed, the freak doesn't even see his own irony, too fooking crazy to realize it

    I bet he has Asperger,

  2. #222
    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Bruise View Post
    Says the idiot who joined NTD then repeatedly broke its only rule, no abuse and stalking of other members, and wants to blame me for getting jailed.
    do you suffer from Asperger too?

  3. #223
    a small help for Smeggle to help identify himself

    What Makes Narcissists Mean, Competitive, and Jealous

    To begin, the most helpful word in framing an understanding of the narcissist is "counterintuitive." The most crucial point is that how the narcissist presents on the surface is entirely different from how the narcissist feels underneath. There are two "selfs" at work in the mind of the narcissist: their real self, and the fraudulent, fantasy self they try to sell to the public. Severe narcissists have a predatory, score-keeping approach to the social world around them. The narcissist's daily life is spent fighting off potential threats to their ego and proving themselves as superior to everyone around them, and they have little peace of mind as they move through life. To understand why the narcissist can be so mean in interpersonal relationships, you must understand the unique motivations of the narcissist's intra-psychic world or, in lay terms, what goes on inside the mind of a narcissist.

    It is important to understand why the narcissist feels the need to fight so doggedly to begin with. In the mind of the narcissist, the social world includes two strict categories: winners and losers. There is no possible outcome they can conceive of in which everyone gets their needs met. There isn't enough attention and praise for everyone to go around, so according to narcissistic logic, only a few lucky ones will be selected. Because of the way the narcissist was probably humiliated, unnoticed, or subjugated in the past when it mattered most, the narcissist is also motivated by making sure that they are never put down or overlooked again. When the narcissist feels most threatened, it is because someone has said or done something that makes the narcissist feel small, unnoticed, weak, or defective, and the narcissist cannot allow anyone or anything to make him feel like that under any circumstances. The narcissist's thinking goes like this: Any threat to her or his temperamental ego must be identified and erased immediately. If the threat continues, it must be annihilated by any means necessary.

    If you put down the narcissist or humiliate them publicly, you will unleash decades-old rage, and the narcissist will not stop until they feel you have been verbally or emotionally decimated. (Keep in mind that what the narcissist perceives as a slight is rarely objective.) People who haven't been in close proximity to a severe narcissist would never believe the animalistic, ugly wrath that spews from the narcissist when they are activated. Many boys and girls, or men and women, who have suffered at the hands of an extreme narcissist talk about how seeing such hate-filled "colors" in another human being is traumatic in itself. (These same individuals also find it hard to ever emotionally trust someone again who shows such unbridled, predatory rage.)

    If you are in close proximity to a severe narcissist, understand that the meanness and viciousness the narcissist displays when threatened or held accountable is not personal. Narcissists can use words as bullets, zeroing in on anything they can to unsettle and upset you. Being on the receiving end of this behavior is horrifying and confusing. The recipients often turn to self-help books or articles (like this one) to make sense of the experience, because it is so traumatic and disturbing. Recipients often become sort of "armchair therapists," learning about this personality disorder and trying to become an expert on this type of personality to maintain their sanity. If you are in close proximity to a narcissist, I will highlight what is important for you to understand to move forward. At root, severe narcissists are highly abnormal men and women who have a form of mental illness (a personality disorder). The root of the disorder means that the narcissist, by definition, violates basic social rules and social conventions. When triggered, especially, they don't show empathy: They are entitled; they create their own reality from moment to moment; and they don't really care about others' feelings. The rules or social conventions that most elementary school children have already mastered are absent in the adult narcissist. I use the following expression with clients dealing with individuals like this: "They don't get it, but they also don't want to get it."

    To understand why narcissists can be so mean, you must understand that there are no limits or boundaries when they get triggered (e.g., something makes them look bad, countering the false, impermeable image they desperately try to sell to themselves and to the world overall). Nothing is off-limits with the narcissist when they are upset. No one else in the room has feelings when the narcissist is overwhelmed by his or her own negative feelings. It's a true onslaught, and to see someone who supposedly cares about and loves you completely deny your — and everyone else's — reality and to rip you to shreds, at times, is simply par for the course. If narcissists were foods approved by the Food and Drug Administration, the sticker would read: "Can be extremely malicious and destructive when provoked." Perhaps some men and women can handle being occasionally treated in an abusive way, but I'm not sure that should be the goal. The goal isn't to steel yourself against a loved one to the point where nothing they say or do hurts you. Yes, you could play that game, but what's the point of investing in a relationship that has no real emotional intimacy? Moreover, what's the point in having a relationship with someone who violates basic social rules that most third graders already subscribe to?

    Because the narcissist's emotional scar involved them being unnoticed, humiliated, or subjugated at a crucial point in their psychological development, the overall topic of succeeding, shining, or getting noticed is a so-called hot-button issue. It is a loaded issue, fraught with primitive and unconscious memories, thoughts, and feelings. So many people in close proximity to a severe narcissist feel confused about why the narcissist has such an intense and often negative reaction when the other person feels really good, succeeds, or shines. Here is where things get tricky and highly personality-disordered. Oddly enough, the severe narcissist takes your success as a reflection on them, but not necessarily in the way that you might be imagining. The mind of the narcissist is a binary, all-or-nothing world. If you succeed, their twisted logic tells them that your success means they failed. Someone else succeeding or shining (especially someone close to them, whom they see all the time) is actually upsetting (even unconsciously painful) because they see your success as a missed opportunity for themselves to get a little love or attention. While most people rightly believe that there is enough of all the good stuff to go around — love, attention, respect — severe narcissists are convinced that only a select few will get recognized. Sadly, no amount of convincing will convince them otherwise. It is critical to understand that the narcissist isn't competitive with you because they hate you or want to hurt you emotionally. They do what they do because they are feeling emotionally deprived themselves.

    Normal people are entirely confused about how the narcissist — or anyone, for that matter — can go through so much of their life without ever having learned and accepted some of the most fundamental social laws. Most third graders already understand and follow these basic social conventions, so it is almost hard to understand on a logical level how someone who looks like an adult and is not cognitively disabled could act so much like a child. This issue broaches the subject of another factor that underlies the disorder: oppositionality.

    Anecdotally, having worked with many children and teenagers who have Oppositional Defiant Disorder, I have noticed an interesting overlap between that disorder and adult Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The overlap is worth examining, because it will help you to see how so much of the narcissist's mental approach and behavior is inherently oppositional under the surface.

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder (known as ODD in clinical circles) is a mental disorder seen in school-aged children. The diagnosis includes the following criteria: often loses temper; often argues with adults; often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules; often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior; is often angry and resentful; and is often spiteful or vindictive. If you are in close proximity to a narcissist, you see the shared characteristics.

    Children who have oppositional, defiant personalities and adults who have narcissistic personalities are the way they are for a reason. There is no strict biological basis for these complex, difficult personalities. Perhaps biology plays a role, but my many years of experience with clients has shown that something in the individual's emotional relationships early in life was usually a major contributor (unhealthy parenting approaches, trauma, etc.). The point is that the narcissist's personality got constructed in a highly defensive way. For a personality to become so resistant, difficult, and all-around abnormal, something abnormal in the individual's past had to take place over a significant length of time or during an especially critical period in that individual's development (perhaps within the first several years of life, or what many call the "critical period").

    For those in close proximity to the severe narcissist, they must understand what, again, is counterintuitive. In other words, how the severe narcissist acts with you often — especially when their ego or sense of power has been threatened — has nothing to do with you.

  4. #224
    Bellend
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    17,102
    ^
    Run that by your BFF Ant Knobertson will ya?
    It's more applicable to that wank-stain than anyone else...

  5. #225
    He's pretending he's not furious about being exposed signing up as Ant

    Wonder why he was so compelled to do that

  6. #226
    Bellend
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    17,102
    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Daley View Post
    He's pretending he's not furious about being exposed signing up as Ant

    Wonder why he was so compelled to do that
    Once a shit-stirrer, always a shit-stirrer...

  7. #227
    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Daley View Post
    He's pretending he's not furious about being exposed signing up as Ant

    Wonder why he was so compelled to do that
    Disrespectful disposition, generally speaking.


    The nature of our souls.

  8. #228
    Quote Originally Posted by Somchai Boonporn View Post
    The nature of our souls.
    Except, of course, for sheeple. They're always respectful.

  9. #229
    Quote Originally Posted by Boon Mee View Post
    ^
    Run that by your BFF Ant Knobertson will ya?
    It's more applicable to that wank-stain than anyone else...
    probably, and Ant is a bit mad with me for signing up as him saying I was giving Smeggle the nutter hope for his stalking

    he is right of course, but Smeggle comes to visit TD every day, and Ant can't stop mentioning his name, so really what I did was really harmless
    Last edited by Butterfly; 10-16-2019 at 04:02 PM.

  10. #230
    Quote Originally Posted by Boon Mee View Post
    Once a shit-stirrer, always a shit-stirrer...
    guilty on all fronts

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