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  • #31
    Originally posted by BaitongBoy View Post
    Did you hear about the Englishman who went off in the bushes with two Yanks?...
    No. Let's hear the rest...
    God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

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    • #32
      God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

      Comment


      • #33
        The Pun Thread

        Wrong thread..don't post went pissed error. Where's the double entendre thread ?
        Attached Files
        Last edited by Bonglek; 10-08-2017, 12:05 AM.

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        • #34
          pun thread

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          • #35
            another pun

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            • #36
              Last one

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              • #37
                God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Call this the good Tweet Thread too?

                  Sex with a robot? 😱 @JoyVBehar says: "If they can program a robot to find your G-spot and take out the trash, men are history!"

                  *@JoyVBehar lays on bed to have Sex with Robot, Robot takes her out to the trashcans instead.

                  https://twitter.com/MattsIdeaShop/st...52238244028416
                  God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Boon Mee View Post
                    Smell

                    On the first day after his divorce, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

                    On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.

                    On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light; he put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, a bottle of spring-water, and 3 cans of sardines.

                    When he'd finished, he went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp dipped in caviar, and some sardines into the hollow center of the curtain rods. He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

                    On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss. Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

                    They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

                    Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! ... People stopped coming over to visit.

                    Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit.

                    Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.

                    Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

                    Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

                    Then the ex called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

                    Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth ..but only if he would sign the papers that very day. He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

                    A week later, the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home and, to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods!

                    I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
                    If I dont respond it is because: A) Libtard; B) Blocked Libtard; C) Playing Golf

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                    • #40
                      An ordinary decent (slow) bloke finds himself suddenly divorced.
                      He has to leave the house and his kids stay there with the ex-wife.
                      The wife has been having an affair for ages, but he of course did not know.
                      A month later her boyfriend moves in and lives in the house he paid for.

                      His wife works but the boyfriend does not - he gets worried about his kids.
                      As the months go by the wife reduces his contact with the kids and the boyfriend becomes extremely arrogant.
                      More and more he sees less and less of his kids, - but he still has to pay more and more money.
                      The ex and boyfriend have lots of Friday night parties and enjoy life - all at his expense and on the Govt benefits.
                      He even takes the kids to soccer on the weekends, and he always has the kids when they go away on holidays.
                      He never complains or protests - and after a year he finally decides to do something.
                      He goes and sees an old friend he has not spoken to for many years - since way before his marriage.

                      One Saturday he arrives at the house for soccer and he tells them his old bomb car is running badly and it may break down going to/from soccer.
                      The ahole boyfriend laughs at him (as usual) and says he can use his 'good' car to take the kids to soccer.
                      Part one is complete when the ahole's car is returned.

                      Then each night he drives around for a few hours, until he finds a dead dog that has recently been run over.
                      He puts him in the car and takes him home and wraps him up and puts him in his freezer.
                      Then he registers the dog with the local Govt in the name of the ahole.

                      When summer arrives he waits for them to have another one of their Friday parties.
                      He parks nearby and waits until everyone has gone home, and he then takes the dead dog from his boot.
                      He has added a lead and a name tag - on the Thursday he slowly thawed him out.
                      He then tied him to the back of his car late that night night and drove around the block making sure no one saw.
                      He carries the dog to the bloke's car and carefully ties the lead to the back and pushes him under the car.

                      The next morning he arrives for soccer and as usual the ahole is still in bed after the party.
                      The ex is grumpy as usual about having to get the kids ready, and once he arrives she goes back to bed.
                      He takes the kids to soccer and when the game starts he sneaks off.
                      He then drives back to the house neighbourhood and parks nearby.

                      He then calls the police using a pre-paid no-name mobile - he does it near the house as they trace all calls and will know from what mobile tower the call originated.
                      He disguises his voice and tells the Police he lives in the same street, but doesn't want to give his name.
                      He says he feels bad about what the ahole at the house did last night after their party, when he tied his dog on a lead behind his car and drove around the block with dog dragging behind.
                      He says he thinks the dog is dead as he can see it under his car and it is not moving.
                      He also says that he thinks the ahole is selling drugs while the wife is away at work, as there is often a lot of very 'iffy' looking people that only come over when the wife is away, and he has seen several of them sniffing something when they get back to their cars.
                      He destroys the mobile and drives back to the soccer.

                      The Police arrive with their own dog and of course find the dead dog under the ahole's car.
                      They search the car and the dog finds the small packets of cocaine that the bloke had stashed in the ahole's car.
                      They then search the house and find traces of cocaine on several of the bloke's clothes and shoes (that he left in his car).
                      The ahole is arrested and taken away and is charged with possession and with animal cruelty.

                      When the bloke arrives with the kids after soccer he finds out what has happened and he sympathises with the ex.
                      She takes the ahole's gear and puts it outside, and when he gets back she tells him to leave and to never return.
                      The bloke stays and makes sure the ahole complies - she invites him in and they have a chat.

                      (wait)

                      3 months later, he has paid for her to have a holiday overseas at one of those 'spas' for women only.
                      He told her she has been doing so well after the ahole left and he feels she deserves a reward.
                      Unfortunately, the offence of taking a large amount of cocaine into Thailand is severe.
                      The Thai Police were acting on an anonymous tip given by someone claiming to be from Aust Police.
                      The Thai Court is told about the drug offence committed by the ahole at her address (and confirmed officially).
                      The ex is sentenced to 20 years in jail, and of course the bloke quickly wins custody of his children.

                      It is now 6 months later and he has his house and kids back - and his life is fantastic !!!

                      PS - revenge is a meal best eaten when cold
                      If I dont respond it is because: A) Libtard; B) Blocked Libtard; C) Playing Golf

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                      • #41
                        God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            God, the panic within the Dems, MSM, and left must be horrifying...realizing that Joe is really the best they've got.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              The Pismire thinks diabetes is an island in the Caribbean...

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                              • #45
                                Husband (watching a video): "Don't do it! I swear you gonna regret it for the rest of your life. You stupid idiot! Don't say yes. No! No! NOOO!! Aw dang, he actually did it! What a dumb ass!"


                                Wife: "Why are you so mad? What'aya watching?"


                                Husband: "Our wedding ceremony."
                                If I dont respond it is because: A) Libtard; B) Blocked Libtard; C) Playing Golf

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